I started playing Ensemble Stars Music (the English language server) in October of 2023. Shortly before I began, I had accomplished basically everything I wanted to do in Idolmaster Cinderella Girls Starlight Stage (deresute), the previous mobile gacha game that I spent a lot of time on. I had collected all of my oshi's (Shin Sato's) cards, and gotten all of the profile titles I could for her. A lot of other players care about getting as many fans as possible for their favorites, or in ranking high in their events, or in maxing the star ranks of all their cards. I don't care enough about any of these things to keep playing every single day, so I essentially stopped playing altogether, except when Shin shows back up. It's a pretty generous game, so I already have enough free gacha currency to guarantee that I can get her next SSR without even logging in between now and whenever that happens. Deresute is a game with a truly ridiculous amount of characters, almost 200, and while Shin is popular and therefore more likely to get cards, she still doesn't show up for many months at a time. All I care about is maintaining a complete collection of her cards, and if she isn't getting new cards, why bother?

Without even putting too much conscious thought into it, I guess I decided I needed something new after that. I had already been somewhat curious about Ensemble Stars. Friends had been interested in it for years before I even gave it a chance, so I had a little familiarity with the characters and story. A new enstars-based exercise app called Ensemble Training was also released around this time. More on that later, but I thought, since I'm the kind of person who has a lot of trouble exercising and sticking to it but who also knows I need to be doing it, maybe cute anime boys acting as my trainers would help? This prompted me to start looking at the fan wiki for information on the characters. I wanted to know, if I got into enstars (and it was a big if at that point), who would suit my tastes?

The first boy who caught my attention was Tori Himemiya. Look at him, he's just so cute and pink! And he's voiced by Ayumu Murase, who voices two other anime boys I love (Kazuki from Sarazanmai and Tsubasa from Hirogaru Sky Precure)!

I also really like the unit Ra*bits! A unit that's nothing but cute bunny boys whose songs I adore!

They're all still among my favorites, and Ra*bits is definitely my favorite unit, but after I got to playing the game more, I became attached to Aira Shiratori and Kohaku Oukawa pretty quickly. Now, they're my beloved oshis!

These two are so cute individually, but I love their dynamic as former internet friends who meet by chance after getting into the idol industry, which solidifies their bond. They're one of my favorite ships now.

Aira can be a jerk and can get down on himself a lot, but he's still so precious, and I love how much he loves idols and how hard he works to achieve his dreams. I really feel a strong connection to him sometimes. Every time he opens his mouth I think about how cute he is!

Kohaku is quick to anger and likes to act more mature than he actually is, which makes him extra adorable. It's also fun to watch him learn more about the world after living a very sheltered life before becoming an idol. Despite his usual attitude, he's always kind to Aira and loves being around him, talking about him frequently. So sweet!!

I've had a lot of fun in enstars in general. I really like rhythm games, and the music in this game is fantastic. I'm not amazing at rhythm games and I'm not aiming to be the best, but I have fun with completing all the songs. The game's story is also fun and interesting, and at times completely batshit insane. The characters have rich personalities and their interactions with each other are super entertaining.

I honestly really enjoy the process of slowly building up a gacha game account. It's gratifying to see myself start with nothing and, over the course of months and years of consistent work, end up with a solid collection and a testament to how much I love the characters I've chosen to focus on. It's nice to have small, easily achievable goals that I can put a little work into most days and have fun while I do it. Big goals that have nothing to do with games are great too and I do spend time pursuing them, but easy ones can be satisfying too! It's fun to prepare for my favorites' upcoming events, it's fun to anticipate announcements for new things, and since there are always seasonal events, I feel like it helps me enjoy the entire year to its fullest (yes, I also still enjoy going outside and celebrating holidays with my family lol).

It's also fun to see how other fans celebrate their love for their favorite characters. Art, writing, oshikatsu and merch collections, vlogs and photos from live events in Japan--I love it all! I've done a little bit of those things myself (although I learned prior to my trip to Tokyo in April 2024 that it's pretty much impossible to attend live shows unless you're a resident of Japan--sigh! At least there's always recordings)! It's fun to feel like you're part of a community with the other people who love the same characters and units as you.

I've even gotten into Ensemble Stars Music's Japanese server. I'm less serious about it, but I still do basic things consistently. My main purpose in starting it is... So I can have a back up if the English language server ever goes down before all of enstars is shut down. I currently have no reason to believe that will happen any time soon, but I want to be ready anyway!

Going back to Ensemble Training, I have found this app to be genuinely helpful in getting me to exercise. It isn't very strenuous exercise--or rather, I set my difficulty to low because I currently can't handle most of what the higher difficulties offer--and it only lasts about 10 minutes, but I say it's better than nothing. I also have to modify some of the exercises and stretches because they're a little tough on my knees.

I do still have trouble doing it every single day. I have yet to go more than 4 days in a row doing it, but the most important thing is that I keep coming back to it. I can't say that about any other kind of exercise I've tried. The app released in the middle of September 2023, and I've been going back to it ever since. Considering that I was starting at a place of really not knowing what to do since I find exercise difficult to enjoy and keep up with, I feel like I'm doing pretty well. It is genuinely nice to have my favorite characters showing me how to do the exercises and cheering me on while some of my favorite music plays. It's also 100% free, no one-time fees or microtransactions!

Since the app is coming up on its first anniversary, I wonder if they have any updates in store? That's my biggest criticism of it. I don't think it's the kind of thing that absolutely needs to be updated frequently, it still fulfills its purpose with everything it's already got. The only updates it's received have been to change one character's voice after his voice actor needed to be replaced (not gonna get into that controversy...), and what appear to be back end tweaks that the users won't see.

But, the app gives you coins to purchase new trainers and songs after you complete your daily exercise, and even someone like me who hasn't stuck to it religiously every day was able to gain enough coins to purchase everything currently available in several months. Now I'm just sitting on a stash I can't do anything with! But they actually have some new characters they can add, and TONS of songs, and I'd be more than happy to get different outfits for the trainers who are already available, too! Or how about backgrounds? The only background we currently have is a fairly plain looking gym with a yellow wall. Some updates to the exercises would be nice, too--adding new varieties, basically. Maybe increasing the level of customization for the exercises.

I have some misgivings about playing gacha games in general. Not because I have trouble with gacha game spending, because I genuinely don't. I do spend, but only in small amounts that are more than manageable for me, and I don't feel out of control with it. I can go quite a while without spending anything at all. But I can't deny that the entire concept of gacha games is morally questionable. I'm aware that the games rely on people who are big spenders, regardless of how troublesome it is for those players to lose that money. Undoubtedly some of them are genuine gambling addicts. The games have government-mandated safeguards in place, but how many people circumvent these with methods such as having multiple accounts? There's really nothing stopping the companies that make these games from simply selling the digital cards outright, even with the same exact in-game currency systems and same ability to complete microtransactions, but the slot machine-esque mechanic of gacha pulls is far too appealing and exciting for them to drop it, and surely far more lucrative. It's the anticipation of not knowing what's coming next, not knowing when the hit you want is going to happen, that keeps things interesting. I'm good at not using my real money to experience this feeling, but I do definitely experience it.

The communities for these games, especially enstars I've noticed, can have some troubling aspects to them that reinforce spending. Even jokingly, they might encourage each other to spend (they also might do the exact opposite, to be perfectly fair). Fear of missing out plays a huge role. When you see other people getting the cards for your favorite characters--maybe even maxing them out (getting multiple copies of the same card does have a genuinely useful function in enstars)--or people accomplishing seemingly great acts of dedication to their favorites by spending a lot of time and funds on ranking high in events, it makes it hard not to feel like you would feel good if you did the same. I can't deny even I've considered doing these things, but have been able to resist so far. Sometimes, it really seems like fans suffer greatly for the sake of the game and their favorites. I do see fans with a lot of favorite characters consistently complaining that they "have to" pull in several upcoming gacha, going so far as to state that they actually hate their favorites. I don't want to take obvious jokes too seriously, but I think there is a nugget of truth behind them--a true despair that they feel stuck in the situation they're in. Honestly, it makes me wonder if they're aware that playing is completely optional... But I do know that love is a powerful thing, and I know that there is some kind of love in their hearts even if they outwardly declare "ugh, why'd he have to show up now, I hate him!"

Enstars also has a massive quantity of merchandise, and showing off huge collections is another common show of fealty to oshis on social media, making players who may have already lost a lot of money to the playing itself even more broke. I collect a little bit myself, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't sometimes admire the collections other fans have.

Despite all these issues, I can't honestly come to the conclusion that the game isn't worth my time. It isn't any less fun for me. At the time I'm writing this I'm actually getting back into the game after a few weeks of pulling back from it following an event on the Japanese server for Aira that I put a lot of time and work into. I needed a break because the game was feeling like a chore, so I took one, and now I'm back to enjoying myself again. Being able to step back from anything you do for enjoyment after it loses its fun is crucial to keeping up with it in the long term, I think.

Right now, I'm getting ready for another Aira event at the end of this month, this time on the English language server, and since it already happened two years ago on the Japanese server, I've already known it was coming for a long time and have been anticipating it! I can't believe it's almost here! I'm still debating how far I want to go with it since I'll have a lot of extra time when it happens, but I do know I don't want to get to the top of the leaderboards and I don't want to push myself beyond my limits. A game isn't worth sacrificing my sanity!