While I still wish to keep using it on a more limited basis, I haven't been feeling social media lately as a means of regularly talking about what's going on in my life (more on this in a separate section at the bottom of this post). I'd rather use it to share things I make, post photos sometimes, and reply to people I follow. I might change my mind in the future, but I wanted to experiment with writing up blog posts for each month instead to share what's been going on in my life.
Not sure how exciting this will be for other people, but it will at least serve as an easily accessible record for me, and a place to share longer thoughts that I might be more reluctant to post on social media.
So, here's what happened in June 2025!
It rained a lot where I live, but not an excessive amount. I really like rain, as long as it isn't enough to cause flooding, so this is notable for me! Some Junes are quite dry around here.
The string lights that I got for my bedroom fairly recently have already burned out completely… I'm on the hunt for something higher quality to replace them.
There's been a doe with TWO fawns hanging around in our neighborhood recently! Which is somewhat troubling since we are in a city and a city means cars, but so far they seem to be doing well and there are fields nearby. There's plenty of food for the mother, who is still nursing, and hiding places for the fawns. I don't see fawns too often so I'm so happy when I spot them! They're soooo adorable and full of energy, I've seen them running around in circles and chasing each other multiple times.
I had an eye check up late in May and was given a new prescription. Buuut the optometrist I saw didn't seem particularly serious and there were problems during the part where they were figuring out that new prescription, which I told them about but that evidently didn't get fully resolved, because I ordered new glasses and my eyes could not focus in those damn things. I know your eyes take some time to adjust, but I've gone through the process of breaking in new glasses many times before and this felt very different from that. So, I returned them and got another pair... And I don't like them! They're half rims. Turns out I don't like half rims. I like simple metal frames in a color I like. So I'm going to keep wearing my existing glasses for now and keep the half rims as back ups in case of emergency. Honestly, I'm at an age where my prescription is not changing drastically, so I think I'll be fine for at least another year. Next time, I'll see a better optometrist. Pretty frustrated by this whole process, have never had it go this badly before, so here's hoping it goes smoothly next time!
Somehow I got a mild sprained ankle, so I went to the doctor for that and am slowly recovering from it. Actually, I started writing this post while sitting in bed with an ice pack around my ankle, haha! I really have no idea how it happened, which I think happens pretty frequently with sprains. I know I sprained an ankle when I was a teenager, though I can't remember which one, and if you get one sprain you're at a greater risk for it happening again in the future.
It isn't affecting my walking too much, but I do have to be careful. I can get around without any trouble most days. My doctor tried to give me a short course of steroids to knock out the inflammation quickly, but between this and one other previous experience it seems I have an intolerance for oral steroids because they've caused problems and I had to stop taking them immediately. Here's hoping I never need them for a more dire problem…
I purchased a Nintendo Switch 2. Expensive, yes, and I went back and forth on whether or not to get one at launch, but ultimately I decided to go for it. I didn't see any reports of widespread, serious problems with the console, and I was concerned about the price potentially going up due to tariffs. I also think it will be more cost effective in the end, since I fully intend to keep the unit I have at least until the next completely new Nintendo console, if not longer, and I can't see that happening for at least another 7 years. So, the longer I have it, the more bang for my buck, I suppose. I see people saying "it has no games yet," but I want to keep playing at least some of the games in my existing Switch library. Why not do it on better hardware while I wait for more new games? Which is exactly what I've been doing, and it's been great!
I got lucky and got the only Mario Kart World bundle the store I went to had received, only a few minutes after they received it, purely by chance of walking in at just the right time. I don't believe I've ever purchased a new console at launch before, but I loved the original Switch despite its limitations—though I still really craved a more powerful version of it, for years. I haven't been ultra hyped for this launch, but that's because this console is precisely that: A more powerful version of the Switch, nothing completely new or novel about it, but totally worth it for what I wanted. I'm not much of a "gamer," so I don't keep a variety of consoles. Switch 2 will be basically the only console I use, aside from a little bit of older handheld gaming on my modded 3DS. And so far, I'm quite happy with it! Patiently awaiting the release of some third party items I can use to make mine cuter.
Loving Mario Kart World! I know there's been some trouble with the online version of it, and I do agree Nintendo's decisions there suck and I hope they correct things, but I'm the kind of person who is okay with playing offline. I will probably renew my online subscription eventually for some other game and try at least one online race, though. I'm also a big Princess Peach fan and the free roam feature has been wonderful, I love exploring and taking screenshots with her.
I completed a thorough cleaning of my bedroom that I split up over every weekend of the month, because I knew I was going to need to get rid of a bunch of things. This has worked remarkably well. In the past, I felt as if I needed to do a big room cleaning every single month. Not necessarily to get rid of things—although I would sometimes—but moreso to dust everything. Honestly, this is unsustainable for someone working a full time job. I don't get much time off and to spend one whole precious weekend every damn month on that was frankly ridiculous. I don't have severe allergies, I don't need to be that concerned about accumulated dust. Then I tried to do it once a season, so four times a year. I think this is more reasonable, but frankly I'm just not feeling the drive to do that, either. Maybe things get pretty dusty, but I can spot clean things that really annoy me. I'm a pastel girly, and as it turns out, you can't really see dust very well on light colored surfaces! So, I think I'm going to do it twice a year, and take the same approach of spreading the work out over multiple weekends rather than trying to get it all done in one like I used to. Once in summer and once in winter, or perhaps spring and autumn instead. Of course I still do things like vacuuming, washing bedding, and organizing very regularly. The space is kept tidy. But the dusting? Just doesn't seem all that necessary to do so often.
I also started the slow process of setting up a small studio for myself. Literally just half a room, the other half still needs to be used mostly as storage by my parents, but it will still be a great help when it's complete. I don't do any large scale art, I don't need much space, but I think it will help with my mindset more than anything.
Right now I've just been moving things around that are already in this room to make way for new things. That's most of the work—moving things around. I'll only need help to move a few furniture pieces, namely some chairs, but thankfully I have a brother who is willing to pitch in. I'm especially looking forward to moving the desk and desk chair out of my bedroom and replacing them with an arm chair and side table. I'd like a more comfortable spot to crochet that isn't my bed, while still having the privacy of my bedroom. I'd like to even have a second arm chair in the studio, if it will fit. This is a long term project for me, something I'd like to have completed by the end of this year rather than within a month or two. I need help from the rest of my family both for moving things and for organizing all the little objects and papers already occupying the space. Plus, buying two arm chairs and a side table is something I need to save up for.
I started crocheting a Christmas blanket as a gift for my mom. I'm thinking I'll give it to her for her birthday, even though it's well before Christmas, so she can have it available as soon as the season begins. Well, and because I'm excited to give it to her lol. But that all depends on if I can finish it in time. I'm currently working at a faster pace than I expected to, but it will probably slow down eventually. While it's a very simple pattern that took me one evening to learn, it is an adult sized throw blanket, so it will take time to make. I'm really enjoying the process, though! Great to put something on the TV and get to work on it for a while. Has also been a nice project to have while resting my sprained ankle.
I've also been working on some cute, simple granny squares that I was going to turn into a runner for a long dresser I have in my bedroom, and I've accumulated quite a few of them, but I've run into an issue: I now want to use a different pattern to make a runner! Turns out that Christmas blanket pattern is very easy to adapt to different widths and lengths, and I think it would make for a lovely rainbow striped runner. So, I have a whole pile of granny squares that I'm unsure what to do with. Might be good turn into something to decorate my studio when I get it more set to my liking.
Things I've been enjoying this month:
Related to watching things while I crochet, I've started rewatching Hirogaru Sky Precure. I love this season, and the time just felt right. Normally I wouldn't watch anime while doing something else because it's usually an episode that's new to me and I want to pay attention, but I don't mind doing this for a show I've already watched recently. I adore Ageha and Tsubasa and I'm very happy to spend time with them again.
I can't recommend any of them, but I spent a lot of time this month listening to things that I found kind of upsetting—sometimes not realizing it until I checked in with why I was feeling so anxious later on. I have a full time job where I'm able to, and want to, listen to stuff 95% of the time, but I can't watch anything, so I need to find pretty huge quantities of things to listen to all day. Sometimes the pickings can get slim if I'm not up for listening to music and have already gotten through other audio I had at the ready, so I'll find things with subjects that might be interesting but that may be a bit much for me, especially if there's many hours of it to listen to. Anyway, I only mention this because I found Hirogaru Sky to be a nice antidote to that. No, I can't watch it while I work, but it helped when I got home feeling like my nerves were a bit fried. I've been working on being more mindful of what I listen to.
The podcast 60 Songs That Explain The 90's: The 2000's. I strongly recommend this podcast to anyone who cares about popular music that came out of the US, and to a lesser extent the UK, in the 2000's, and yes, the 1990's too. Their run of 90's songs has completed, so you have an entire backlog of many fantastic episodes to listen to. And they've also covered way more than 60 songs, actually. It's a bit of a joke that they never changed the title. I especially liked the recent episode on Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone".
Another podcast: Art Juice, a podcast about art and being an artist by two professional painters in the UK. Actually, this podcast's run ended this month, but there's several years' worth of backlog to get through and the vast majority of it is still plenty relevant and will continue to be! I find their conversations enlightening and inspiring.
Salt and pepper flavored pistachios! They're delicious!!
In learning more about the effects of unfettered phone/internet access for kids and teens--controversial topic, I know--I've come to reflect on my own adolescence growing up with the internet, and find myself feeling a bit sad and conflicted. I'll be entering actual middle age soon, or depending on how young you are you might consider me already there. That means that growing up with the internet didn't mean the same things it does for kids who are doing so today. I could not take it with me everywhere, and my choices for what I could do on it were both limited and, I would argue, more enriching. It was the "old internet" that everyone pines for nowadays, after all. I mean, pretty much everyone who spent enough time online back then would come to learn basic internet navigation and privacy skills that continue to be useful today and that aren't as well understood among a population that spends the vast majority of their time on a handful of apps, rather than exploring the entire world wide web. You would also probably end up learning at least the absolute basics of HTML and CSS coding. And there was just lots and LOTS of cool stuff to see, all the time. It felt expansive, not diminishing.
But it was undoubtedly detrimental to me, too. I wouldn't go so far as to say I was addicted, but my usage was definitely problematic. I remember once foregoing time with a friend, while at her house, who was actively trying to pry me away to spend time with her, to instead spend time with online friends on her family's computer. Extremely rude of me! All of those online friends left my life long before she eventually did. That might not have been the only instance of that happening.
In high school, another friend once looked at me with complete bewilderment when she witnessed me reacting strongly to a conversation I was having with who was, at the time, my online boyfriend, while in her presence. "Are you even hearing yourself!?" she said. Even though it's been over for a looong time now (thank goodness), the strong feelings I experienced from that relationship were very real, but I do see in hindsight how this was odd behavior that could have very well been directed towards some kind of relationship with a person right in front of me, in which I probably would have learned more.
This problematic usage lasted a very long time. And I've been aware of it for a long time, too. I don't call it an addiction because it's never fully prevented me from doing what needs to be done for an extended time--attending to school (although I did fail some classes and overall became less attentive), spending time with friends (although the relationships did suffer and eventually fizzle out almost entirely), finding work and sticking to it, caring for my basic needs. But it did impact my life negatively, and it was difficult to pull myself away.
Could I have been a better artist now if I had dedicated more time to it instead of playing online games? I mostly like my art, but I do feel like I'm behind for someone entering middle age who's been drawing her whole life. Could I have had a more vibrant social life? I am what I like to call an extreme introvert, but the "extreme" part may not be so if I hadn't been swallowed up by the internet in my adolescent years. I don't struggle intensely with social anxiety or with strong, consistent feelings of loneliness, but I do have a sense of "what could have been"--or, "what will the future hold when my current connections are all gone". Could I have done better in middle and high school, and in college? Probably. College was particularly painful for me. Could I have been making more money by this point in my life and be able to live away from my parents? Maybe, maybe not.
Well, none of us can go back in time. All we can do is move forward. Besides, there's a flip side to all this "what if" thinking that isn't so rosy. Spending a lot of time on the internet helped me, as it does with many people, realize I was gay. But I didn't figure it out until my early 30s. If I had spent more time socializing instead of being online, could I have ended up marrying a man before I had the chance to figure things out? It unfortunately happens to plenty of lesbians. Could I have had a kid before figuring out that's something I don't want? Could I have worked hard for a higher paying career, only to realize I absolutely hated it?
In the life I'm actually living now, I've known for a long time that my relationship to the internet needed an overhaul. The negatives were often outweighing the positives. Over the past year or two, I've been making this happen. Reducing my social media usage significantly, re-evaluating what I actually want to be using the internet for and how often, and of course what I want to be doing off the internet. It's a slow process. It's not easy to choose a different path when you've already been hiking along a specific one for over 20 years. But I think I've been mostly successful.
I don't want anything to do with school anymore, so that's just going to have to remain a regret for me. I also haven't gotten better at engaging with people—though I think I do fine when they're the ones to initiate a conversation, or with talking to people I already know, online or offline. But most days, I'm taking better care of myself. Eating better, sleeping better. Moving better is hard since I'm not the type to enjoy exercise, but whenever I fall off of this, I pick myself back up pretty quickly. Most days, I'm good at keeping my space tidy and helping my family out around the house. Work is going pretty well. My finances are as "in order" as they can be for someone not making very much. I'm spending just about every day using my free time on one or more creative pursuits, and have even learned a new skill recently—crochet. I'm slowly improving my art and trying to put my regrets behind me. On average, the quality of my life has improved as a result of choosing different ways to spend my time.
The internet is a terrible and wonderful place. Despite its terrible side, I'm happy to have it. It's such a boon to artists in particular that I could just weep with joy at the richness it offers us. I'm older now. I can take care of myself better now. I'm more stable now. And, while I certainly still have more work to do, I'm better at using the internet as a tool, a library, a gallery, a concert hall, a creative space, rather than a crutch, a safety blanket, or a form of hypnosis to forget myself. Some days I still fall into that, but I can pull myself back out pretty quickly. Getting older isn't so bad, I suppose. I understand the meaning of "take the good, leave the rest" much better now.
